


texan love song

by woodchoc_magnum



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 Lone Star Season 2, 9-1-1 Season 4, COVID-19, Crossover, Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, Falling In Love, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Road Trips, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodchoc_magnum/pseuds/woodchoc_magnum
Summary: In which Buck, Eddie and Hen road trip to Texas to fight a wildfire, and big feelings are revealed.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 95
Kudos: 599





	texan love song

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all - this is a 9-1-1/9-1-1:Lone Star crossover fic, so if you haven't seen Season 4 episode 3 or Season 2 episode 3, you might need to catch up!
> 
> If you're not a fan of Lone Star (like me) don't worry - the Lone Star characters are mostly in the background in this, as the story is entirely focused on Buck and Eddie.
> 
> There's also no mention of Buck's parents/the big secret as it hadn't aired when I wrote this.
> 
> Please enjoy!

**Buck**

The Los Angeles skyline faded into the distance behind them as they headed east towards El Paso. Buck was driving the first shift, wearing a dark blue long-sleeved Henley and a pair of sunglasses, with Eddie at his side, in a matching uniform. Eddie's foot was up on the dash, his eyes focused on his phone.

"My aunt says that Chris is jealous that we're going to Texas," he said, glancing at Buck with a grin. "I think he misses it."

"You can take the boy out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the boy," Buck drawled. "Is that right?"

"Something like that. I hope we're not away for too long; I'm going to miss him." Eddie pocketed his phone and reached for the radio, turning the volume up a little. "You let me know when you want me to take over."

"Yeah, I will, but I'll be good until our next rest stop."

Eddie nodded along to the music, glancing into the back where Hen and the rest of the team were seated. Hen was reading a medical book and wearing a pair of bright red headphones, ignoring everyone else, who had brought along a couple of pocket travel games to play on the long journey.

They came to a stoplight, and Buck stretched his arms over his head, glancing at Eddie again, who met his eyes and smiled softly.

"Glad you came," Buck said in a low voice.

Eddie nodded, smirking. "Wouldn't have missed it."

_~~**~~**~~**~~_

Something… unexpected had happened.

Christopher had gone to camp for two weeks, pre-Covid, and suddenly Buck had found himself spending every spare minute with Eddie. They worked together and went out after their shifts; they saw movies, went camping, did a road trip to San Diego one weekend on a whim and wandered around the city together. It was Buck's first time there, but Eddie had been once before to see the zoo, so Buck was happy to follow his lead.

It was as they were driving home from that weekend, and he reflected on how much fun they'd had, just the two of them, that it had hit him like a ton of bricks. He was in love with his best friend.

Like, stupidly in love with him.

Like – could hardly imagine a world without him in it, wanted to be around him all the time, lit up with pleasure every single time Eddie so much as _looked_ at him.

And then, out of the blue, there was a pandemic, and their world was thrown into turmoil. He hadn't had a chance to deal with an onslaught of feelings when the recommendation came across that first responders should separate from their families in order to prevent the spread of Covid, and suddenly Chimney was moving in with him. He didn't even remember being _asked_ , but that was okay, until Eddie turned up on his doorstep, desperate and also needing a place to stay.

Hen moved in with Bobby, Athena and May, taking up residence in their spare room. Harry went to live with Michael full-time, and subsequently, Michael's new partner, David. Karen, Nia and Denny were on their own, but Hen visited them every day after work and spent socially distanced time on the lawn so they could all be together. Maddie moved into Chimney's apartment with Albert there to take care of her, and Chimney spent long hours on Zoom calls with them.

Buck worried about Eddie, who desperately didn't want to be separated from Christopher, but had no choice. His Abuela agreed to stay with Christopher in Eddie's house, and because Eddie didn't want to be alone, he arrived at Buck's with two bags and a black cloud of misery surrounding him.

Chimney protested – there was a lack of bed space and privacy, after all – but Eddie had simply snapped that he'd share the bed with Buck and then stalked upstairs, effectively ending the argument.

And then the three of them were roommates, and Buck was sharing a bed with someone for the first time in a _long time_. Eddie was miserable and grouchy the first few days, Facetiming with Christopher whenever he could, and generally being grumpy, until Buck said to him, late one night, "There's nothing you can do about it, and you need to chill out."

Eddie had given him a disbelieving look, ready to protest, but Buck said, quietly and reasonably, "There's a pandemic. I know you miss him, but you're not alone."

He was silent for a few long moments, thinking it over, and finally said, "I know. You're right."

Buck shrugged at him. "It is what it is. We just have to make the best of it."

Eddie nodded, tucking a pillow under his head, gazing at Buck in the dim light of the room. "Sorry."

"It's okay. You think I like being invaded?"

"Not by Chim, but I don't think you mind having me around." Eddie had smiled at him then, for the first time in _ages_ , and Buck's heart gave a hopeful little jump.

"You can stay full-time," he heard himself say, fully expecting Eddie to laugh at him or make a joke about it – but Eddie had simply smiled at him warmly.

Fuck, he was in love.

He was even more in love with every day that passed – relishing the opportunity to be with Eddie, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. He worried that they might argue but they were the united front against Chimney, who had a knack for picking fights over the stupidest things.

"Listen, you have a bathroom upstairs," he said to Buck one night, jabbing a finger at him. "Why do you need to come down here to this one?"

"Because it has a bathtub," Buck said reasonably.

"What grown man needs a bath?"

"I do."

"It's his apartment, Chim," Eddie called from the landing. "If he wants a bath, he can have a bath."

"Why do you need a bath?" Chimney demanded, his hands on his hips.

He didn't want to admit that sometimes after a long day at work – and especially if they'd had a particularly physical day – his leg still ached, and probably always would. Lying in a hot bath usually alleviated some of the pain and helped him sleep.

He was about to respond, but it was Eddie who said, "Does he need a reason? Don't you ever just want to have a bath for no reason at all?"

"No! Usually it's when Maddie – uh, no," Chimney corrected, wincing at Buck. "No, I don't need baths."

"Maybe you should try it," Eddie said smartly, wandering over to the fridge, dressed in a soft black tee and jeans. He looked amazing, and Buck tried not to stare at him. Eddie's hair was a little longer than it had been – they were all rocking longer hair in a Covid world, and he guessed they would have to attempt at-home haircuts at some point.

Chimney gave up on the argument and went over to the couch to watch TV, and Buck eased himself onto a stool at the bench, trying not to wince. He still kept a supply of painkillers if he was having a bad day, and sure enough, his leg was more tender than it had been in weeks.

Eddie leaned across the bench from the other side, gazing at him with raised eyebrows. He murmured, "How bad is it?

He missed nothing.

"Bad," Buck admitted, and gave a smile that was more like a grimace. "How'd you know?"

"You limp," Eddie replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I can tell when you use the stairs whether it's hurting you or not. You struggled up there when we got home."

Fuck, he really did know him, so well. Buck nodded, suddenly overcome with a fresh wave of love for him. "You'll distract Chim?"

"Deal." Eddie held his fist out, and Buck bumped it.

That was how it went – they settled into a weird rhythm, the three roommates. Zoom calls were taken upstairs; alone time was spent on the balcony. Beer was drunk and video games were played. Chimney stopped complaining about Buck using the bathtub, especially when Eddie made a point of having baths as well, mostly to piss him off.

They actually functioned pretty well as roommates, despite the initial learning curve. Buck did the cooking and Chimney and Eddie split the cleaning. The couch was Chimney's bed, but during the day the sheets and blankets were taken off and folded neatly, and then tucked away in a drawer. There was an eternal, silent struggle over the thermostat – Buck and Eddie liked it cold, but Chimney liked it warm – but nobody was the winner of that battle.

They played video games and board games, and gave each other space when they needed it. Chimney made them watch the _Godfather_ trilogy, which Eddie loved and Buck hated. In retribution, Buck made them watch _The Lord of the Rings_ , which Chimney had seen (and loved) and Eddie hated. Eddie's choice for a trilogy was _Austin Powers_ , which they all agreed was hilarious. Eddie declared himself the winner, though neither Buck nor Chimney realised they'd been in a competition until it was over.

When Buck found out that he could see a therapist via Zoom, he jumped at the chance. He'd always hated the mere act of attending a therapist's office – something about sitting across from someone on a couch gave him the creeps – but being able to have a therapy session from the safety and comfort of his bedroom was an opportunity he couldn't pass up.

The only person he told was Eddie, who promised to keep it a secret – and gave him a concerned look, until Buck reassured him that everything was okay, and that he just wanted to feel _more okay._

He found Dr Copeland and liked her immediately, and began to have a few sessions with her a week. Eddie kept Chimney distracted while Buck was upstairs – usually by forcing him to play a video game or watch a movie – giving Buck the space to have his sessions in peace and quiet.

And if Chimney thought he'd met a girl, somehow, during their crazy locked down life, then so be it. Eddie knew the truth, though he never asked about it; and only once brought it up, simply to ask whether Buck liked the therapist or not. And that was it – they didn't talk about it.

~

Buck talked to Dr Copeland about Eddie, _a lot._ About how he felt about him; about how much he loved having him in his house, living together, sharing a bed – how easy it was to be with him. Eddie was the calming presence in the loft – if Chimney and Buck were arguing, Eddie was the one who usually wrangled everything back under control. He loved teasing them both, and Buck _loved_ being teased by him – and giving it back, making Eddie's eyebrows lurch upwards with surprise and delight.

He loved watching him talk with Christopher; loved the softness creep into his face and expression. Eddie dropped his guard with Christopher… and with Buck, most of the time. Buck saw a side of Eddie that nobody ever else did.

He talked to Dr Copeland about Eddie so much that one day, out of the blue, she delicately asked, "Have you considered telling him how you feel?"

"No," he said instantly. "No, I never would. He doesn't feel that way about me."

"Are you sure about that, Evan?"

Well, that had made him think. Was he sure about that? Yes.

But no, because sometimes when they were drifting off to sleep together, he'd feel Eddie shift closer to him.

Sometimes he'd catch Eddie staring at him from across the station, and when Buck would look over at him, he'd look away.

Eddie liked to do things for him – he patiently endured Buck's love of puzzles, ate whatever Buck put on his plate without complaint, and happily agreed to be the guinea pig when Buck tried new things in the kitchen. He made sure Buck wasn't feeling too crowded in his loft, and if they'd ordered take-out, he always made sure that Buck had the biggest serving of whatever he liked the best. They were little things, but they meant everything to Buck.

Eddie made sure Buck sat in on some of his conversations with Christopher, and one day, when Buck was a little emotional at the realisation that he hadn't seen Maddie in over a month and was missing out on a huge part of her pregnancy, he'd given him a hug, completely out of the blue.

Eddie didn't show affection to anyone but Christopher, and Buck, but only when nobody else was around.

~

The day finally came that the restrictions were eased, and Eddie asked Bobby's permission to return home to live with Christopher, provided he was strict about Covid protocols. Bobby had agreed, and the wheels were set in motion for Eddie to leave the loft.

Buck sat with him while he packed up his stuff, a little lost at the thought of sleeping in his bed alone.

"You'll come over," Eddie said to him, kneeling on the floor, packing his bag. "You'll spend the night."

"It's too risky—"

"We'll be safe; we'll make sure it's okay." Eddie looked up at him, and said quietly, "I've loved this, Buck… I've loved… being here with you."

Buck stared at him, his heart pounding. "Me too."

"So you'll spend the night at my place," Eddie said quietly. "Okay?"

"Okay."

He guessed they needed to have a conversation about it, but... he didn't have to wait too long to figure out exactly what Eddie meant. At the first sleepover, once Christopher was asleep, Buck stood in Eddie's sparsely decorated bedroom, a little nervously – it was one thing to share Buck's big bed, with its multitude of pillows, but Eddie's bed was smaller, more intimate. They would almost be on top of each other – which seemed to be exactly what Eddie had in mind. He gestured to the far side of the bed, climbed into "his" side, and immediately rolled over to face Buck.

"Funny how much I missed sharing a bed," Eddie admitted – he sounded a little nervous. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, but your bed is kinda hard," Buck replied, settling in beside him. "But that's okay; I can cope."

"Good." Eddie licked his bottom lip, his eyes trained on Buck. "If you need a break from Chimney, you can stay over whenever you want."

He nodded, and they smiled at each other, before Eddie reached over to switch off the light. As darkness descended, Buck came so close to just blurting it out – _hey, I think I might be in love with you_ – but he bit back the words and tried to sleep.

~

That was how it went, for four months – working together with the occasional sleepover. Quiet, worried conversations late at night about the state of the world, and the election, and the pandemic – worrying about keeping Christopher safe, as well as Eddie's extended family, and Maddie… and everyone, all their loved ones.

Dr Copeland encouraged him to open up – it was _Eddie_ , she said, and above everything else, he and Eddie loved each other and they would be okay – and he was going to, he really was going to, but… he didn't have to.

Eddie beat him to it, after a particularly brutal day at work. Buck tried to get out of spending the night, but Eddie wouldn't take no for answer, and so he reluctantly followed him home, only to find that Christopher wasn't there. He'd turned to Eddie questioningly, but the words died on his lips when Eddie pushed him up against the door and kissed him, completely out of the blue.

And that was the end of logical thought, because Eddie Diaz was kissing him – Eddie Diaz was cupping the back of his head with one hand and his hip with the other, pressed up against him with sheer desperation. Eddie Diaz, the person he'd never thought for a single second would ever feel the same way, was giving him the greatest kiss of his life.

He'd never expected it until it was finally happening, and they were laughing and stumbling into the living room, collapsing onto the couch together. Buck was on his back, and Eddie was leaning over him, one knee between his legs, the other foot braced on the floor. Buck stared up at him in wonder and amazement – this was real, it was definitely, really happening – and leaned in to kiss him again.

Sex wasn't on the menu that night, but they'd kissed, _a lot._ And they hadn't really talked about what it meant for their relationship or… anything, really. Buck had woken up beside Eddie the next morning, both still dressed, but instead of simply sliding out of bed, Eddie had greeted him with a kiss.

That was how their relationship began, and over the next few weeks, Buck was in a hazy love bubble. They flirted at work when nobody was looking, and then continued the flirtation over text. Buck had sent Eddie a couple of shirtless snaps, and even received one or two of his own – no one would believe that _Eddie Diaz_ was capable of such scandalous behaviour, but Buck had the evidence on his phone.

They hadn't had sex – not full penetration, anyway. Buck had given him a blow job in bed to make up for pranking him with the coffee maker, but mostly they rutted against each other. Eddie seemed most comfortable with that – he liked to be on top, in control, and Buck was happy to let him. He'd always found himself in submissive positions with partners anyway, and he liked gazing up into Eddie's eyes, burning with intensity, as they moved together on the bed.

Mostly he liked just being with him in bed, kissing and talking. They'd always had a strangely intimate relationship for two men who were supposed to simply be friends, or brothers-in-arms, but… it wasn't like that with them. It never had been – it had always been _more_ , unspoken but there, lingering over them.

_~~**~~**~~**~~_

They were just over a month into their romantic relationship, and they still hadn't really talked about what it meant. Nobody knew, not even Christopher – he never questioned why they were suddenly sharing a bed, and they didn't show any affection in front of him. At work, they were the same Buck-and-Eddie, attached by an invisible string. Where one went, so did the other.

They were heading south towards San Diego, and from there they'd turn east. The last time they'd done this trip they'd just been friends, co-workers, and nothing more, but now… Eddie's hand was resting on Buck's thigh, and he was turned to the side, smiling at him softly. Buck held the steering wheel with one hand and took Eddie's hand with the other, glancing over at him every so often. They weren't wearing headsets – they could hear each other in the front, and they didn't want to listen to the conversation in the back. The rest of the team were in the midst of one of their road trip card games.

Dr Copeland had helped him realise that he needed to be honest about his feelings – she was a little concerned by the secrecy of their relationship, and the fact that they hadn't defined anything yet, but strangely… he wasn't. They didn't need to talk about it, because he already knew _why_ they were keeping things a secret. Eddie was intensely private, and there was internalised guilt there due to his upbringing – he was a Catholic schoolboy, his parents were religious (though Eddie wasn't) and they'd always been hard on him.

Eddie didn't have to explain his reasons, because Buck loved him regardless. Had loved him since the very first day, probably – Eddie-and-Christopher, his people. The family he made for himself.

"You're worried," Eddie said suddenly, and Buck glanced at him with surprise. "You mentioned about working with other departments."

"Yeah, it'll be weird," he said, though he was reassured that Eddie and Hen would be there with him. "Hopefully we can stick together."

"I guess it depends what the command centre wants us to do." Eddie rubbed his fingers, glancing into the back. "If we get split up – don't do anything crazy."

"Crazy? Me?"

Eddie grinned, arching his eyebrows. "Yeah. Don't leave me out."

He laughed. "Okay. I won't."

~

Eddie took the next shift at the wheel, and Buck kept him company up front, ignoring Hen complaining about them monopolising the front seats. He was working his way through a book about devastating tornadoes in American history, inspired by their trip to Texas and the fact that Eddie had seen three separate tornadoes in his lifetime, all from a safe distance.

"You and your natural disasters," Eddie laughed, when Buck read out a passage about the 1999 tornado in Moore, Oklahoma. "What's next? Volcanoes? Hey, why aren't you reading about volcanoes?"

"I've exhausted everything I can find," he replied absently. "I'm on tornadoes right now."

"No tornadoes are going to hit LA."

"You say that, and a volcano erupted in Texas." Buck settled back in his seat, lost in his book, when Eddie's hand settled on his thigh again.

Buck looked over at him – studied his handsome profile, as he had done so many times before. Eddie had the weight of expectations on his shoulders. He was meant to meet another nice woman and settle down, have some more kids – he was supposed to do that in Texas, and instead he'd fled to LA, but still… his family expected it of him. Buck wasn't sure what they were doing from Eddie's point-of-view; if he was simply filling a void with the one person he was most comfortable with, or if it was something _more._ He didn't know, because he hadn't asked, or volunteered any feelings of his own.

"Hey," Eddie said suddenly, startling him out of his reverie. "In a couple of hours we'll be driving through Tucson. What was the name of that show you loved?"

" _The Last Man on Earth_ ," Buck replied. "Tandy Miller, alive in Tucson. What would you do if you were the last man on earth?"

Eddie glanced at him, and then gave a shrug. "Literally the last man on earth? No Chris, no you?"

"Nope, just you."

"Kill myself."

"Not an option; take it off the table. What would you do?"

He sighed. "Is life worth living without Christopher?"

"Okay – fine, you and Chris are the last _men_ on earth," Buck stressed, rolling his eyes. "It's a hypothetical Eddie, jeez."

Eddie grinned, satisfied that he'd gotten his own way. "Well… let's think about this strategically – and I haven't seen the show."

"No – but everyone does get wiped out by a virus, so… bear that in mind. Oh – also think about nuclear reactors," Buck pointed out, clasping his hands on his chest. "What do you do?"

"And you're not there," Eddie clarified.

"No, I'm dead."

"But… in this scenario, maybe you're there as well."

"Eddie, it's not a hard question! I'm dead; it's you and Christopher – the only two people left on the planet. Cars are still working, but you need to make long term decisions. What do you do? Where do you go?"

"Listen, you're alive as well," Eddie said bluntly, "and this is what we'll do. First of all, we'll need to stock up on the essentials. Did you say that I need to worry about nuclear reactors?"

Buck grinned. "Yeah."

"Okay, that is a good point because after a certain amount of time with no maintenance, they'll stop working. Not only that, but there'll be no running water or electricity," Eddie pointed out, "so we'd need plenty of water and non-perishable items. We don't have to deal with zombies?"

"No, everyone's dead, including most of the birds and animals. No cats, no dogs, no horses, no birds – everything has been wiped out."

"Fish," Eddie said, glancing at him with raised eyebrows.

"Fish too. Literally everything."

He sighed. "Okay, so… from memory, most of the reactors are on the East Coast, so we'd stay out west. I wouldn't head north because we'd need to avoid harsh winters, so we'd probably south into Mexico. We'd need to find somewhere that we could plant seeds and stuff, maybe near the coast – maybe the west coast, rather than the east, to avoid any potential hurricanes."

"So practical," Buck teased. "I'm not surprised you picked Mexico."

"Why, what would you do?"

"Sail for Hawaii."

Eddie shot him an incredulous look. "You'd be killed."

Buck shrugged. "I think I could do it."

"Knowing nothing about the weather, and the currents of the ocean, and how to navigate there—"

"There would be navigational equipment on the boat."

"We'd end up shipwrecked," Eddie replied, shaking his head. "No, we're not doing that."

"Hey, I never said you and Chris were in my scenario with me."

Eddie shot him an amused look. "Yeah, but I know we are," he replied knowingly. "They get hurricanes in Hawaii, you know."

"Yeah, but I'd be in _Hawaii_ ," Buck said dryly. "So I'd be fine."

"Volcanoes, earthquakes, potential tsunamis—"

"No nuclear plants; just a nuclear winter when they all go boom, eventually. It's a tropical climate. I'd chill out on Oahu or Kauai, where there aren't any volcanoes – maybe steal one of those big fancy houses in Hanalei Bay, and just… live the good life," Buck said with a shrug. "What else is there?"

Something flickered across Eddie's face. "Maybe we will come with you."

"I knew you wouldn't let me go by myself." Buck grinned at him, and then jumped when someone knocked on the wall behind them.

"We're stopping at the next rest stop," Hen called to Eddie. "You need a break."

"I'm good until Tucson!"

"Time for someone else to drive and you two to get some rest."

~

They stopped in El Paso briefly, and Eddie called his parents to let them know that he was passing through. Buck left him making plans with them to stop in on the way back, and wandered into the restrooms to freshen up. Once finished, he splashed some water on his face at the mirror and ran his hands through his wild hair, and was turning to leave when Eddie appeared, checking to make sure they were alone before pulling Buck into a stall and closing the door.

Eddie held a finger to his lips, pushing Buck up against the door, and leaned in to kiss him eagerly. It wasn't the most romantic location, but he didn't have the heart to care, and couldn't wipe the smile from his face as he kissed him back.

"We're not going to get much opportunity the next few days," Eddie whispered. "Thought I'd steal a moment."

Buck nodded, draping his arms over Eddie's shoulders, and brushing their lips together again.

If it wasn't love, he'd take what he could get – what Eddie was willingly giving him, at least when they were alone.

They traded kisses, savouring their few moments alone, before Eddie finally pulled away with a sigh. "Time to go."

Buck nodded, but cupped his cheek, smiling at him. Eddie studied him, a small smile playing on his lips, and then leaned into his touch, closing his eyes briefly.

"Where are Buck and Eddie?" they heard Hen shout from outside, and instantly broke apart.

"Really time to go," Buck whispered, and slipped out of the stall first. "Be there in a second!"

~

Buck awoke to a whole new world – a hot, steamy, smoky world, where the blue sky was blotted out with smoke haze and there was a shared sense of urgency by everyone on the frontlines.

"Welcome to Texas, Buck," Eddie had said dryly, slapping him on the back, and he readied himself to deal with whatever was coming their way.

The plan was that he'd stick close to his people, maybe follow Hen's lead, and go from there – but they all split off almost instantly, and he was up at the front with a group of firefighters he didn't know or trust. Eddie wasn't far from his mind, though, and as he worked he thought about him, a lot, and wondered if maybe he should be honest with him when they were finished fighting the wildfire.

And then a dog drove a flaming car down a hill, and suddenly he had new friends in TK and Mateo from Austin.

* * *

**Eddie**

"Stop staring," he said to Buck, whose eyes were trained on the attractive female firefighter standing amongst the crowd.

It wasn't like he was jealous, but he'd prefer it if Buck would simply stop staring at her. He'd never really had to worry about that before – it felt like he'd had Buck's sole attention for the past few years, but now he was staring at a _woman_ , which was really unusual. Granted, she was gorgeous, but still.

He broke off from the group to get a coffee, overhearing that they needed a medic to head up the hill and rescue some teenagers. He volunteered, and ended up on a team with Buck's mystery woman – that was an added bonus, and would only serve to drive Buck crazy.

Sure enough, when she pulled up in an ATV and called out for him, Buck looked suitably distressed. Eddie couldn't help but grin, smug, before heading off to join the mystery woman and the rest of her team.

~

He liked them all instantly. Judd was a good old boy from the south – there were plenty of men like Judd in El Paso, and Eddie felt at ease with him immediately. Paul was a great, friendly guy, and Marjan – well, if he'd been single, he might've been interested. He clicked with her right away, but Buck was never far from his mind.

"Wait, is that the creepy guy who was staring at me before?" she asked him as she scrolled through his Instagram, which mostly contained pictures of Buck and Christopher.

"He's harmless… mostly," he said with a shrug. Nonchalant – Buck was the most harmless of them all, though sometimes his pranks were a little insufferable (in fairness, he did really enjoy the fancy coffeemaker, but he would never tell Buck that).

She looked like she wanted to say something, but they were interrupted by the radio, listening as Captain Strand radioed in for a chopper.

Eddie had a bad feeling about that. He'd spent the bulk of his time in and out of helicopters in the army, often in terrible conditions, and with the fire whipping the winds into a frenzy, it was too dangerous to take a chopper up. But it wasn't his call – he was out in the middle of the forest with people he didn't know, and he would just have to see how it played out.

"So what's his deal," Marjan asked him, scrolling through his Instagram again. "He's in half your pictures."

"Yeah, he's my best friend," he replied, though that wasn't entirely true – not the whole truth, at least. _Soul mate_ or _love of my life_ would fit better, but that was okay. "My son loves him." _And I do too._

She raised her eyebrows, and glanced over at him knowingly. "You're the only man I've ever met who plasters pictures of his best friend all over his Instagram like it's nothing. And these are nice pictures, too. I retract my creepy statement; he's a good-looking guy."

"I think he's just a big fan of yours," Eddie said with a grin. "He's a little starstruck."

At that she laughed. "Aren't they all."

~

It was with mounting horror that he followed the helicopter with his eyes, focused on the sound of its straining engine, before it finally began to spiral out of the sky. _Hen._

There was nothing they could do – they had to return to camp, and he rode in the back of the ATV with the injured teenager, trying to focus on the job. Force the emotions down, and get on with it. Hen was smart and tough – she would be okay. If nothing else, he had faith in Henrietta Wilson.

They'd been back for about forty minutes when Buck strolled in with two guys from the 126, and while he _hadn't_ felt any jealousy towards Buck's interest in Marjan at all, he was immediately on guard when he spotted the good-looking guy to Buck's left, who turned out to be Captain Strand's son.

Eddie left the rest of the 126 and headed with Buck over to their truck, to change out of his soot-stained and sweaty clothes. "How was it?" he asked Buck, who gave him a tense look. "Bad?"

"No, I nearly got wiped out by a dog driving a burning car," Buck replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head. "Just hard work."

Eddie stared at him. "What did you say?"

Buck gave him a wry grin. "Yeah, kinda took me by surprise as well. Dog and owner are both okay. How'd you go?"

"It went okay. I saved the counsellor, but one of the campers was doing a solo jaunt in the woods," he replied. "That's the reason they had to send the chopper, so they could locate him from above. And good thing they did, I guess, but…"

"Hen," Buck finished for him, pulling on a clean shirt. "Yeah."

"Yeah. Who's that guy?" Eddie couldn't keep the edge out of his voice.

Buck turned to him slowly. "What guy?"

"That guy you're with. Captain Strand's son? What's his deal?"

The flicker of a smile crossed Buck's face, before he shrugged and said, "Oh, yeah. He saved my life. Stopped me from getting hit by that car."

"It was that close?" Eddie clarified, taking a step towards him.

Buck nodded. "Yeah, but TK tackled me. He's a good guy."

Eddie looked him over, his eyes lingering on his injured leg before he said, "Is your leg okay?"

"It's fine. I'm gonna get something to eat." Buck pulled his jacket on and then stretched his arms over his head, before heading back towards the tents.

Eddie watched him go, concerned and confused.

_~~**~~**~~**~~_

He was not an overly demonstrative man – maybe it was one of his biggest failings. He tended to internalise his feelings and hide his emotions. He couldn’t afford to be emotional when he was in the army – that shit had to be on lockdown. All worries and concerns about Shannon and Christopher couldn't enter his mind when he was working. He couldn't afford to be distracted; had to be on his game at all times.

And he'd never been particularly emotional as a child either – growing up with two sisters, one older and one younger, meant that he was constantly drowned out. It hadn't been difficult for him to adapt to the army, when he'd spent his whole life suppressing his emotions anyway.

He'd tried to be open with Shannon and it had backfired on him – they were like tectonic plates, constantly grinding against each other, until all of the anger and frustration was finally released. He'd loved her, but looking back, he could see clearly that they had never been right for each other.

It was different with Buck. In Buck he had a best friend, a partner-in-crime, a reliable and trustworthy teammate. It was the fastest, easiest relationship he'd ever had in his life. He'd had no qualms about introducing Christopher and Buck; no concerns about letting him into his life. Buck had a knack of making things better for him – of listening to his problems and then finding solutions. Nobody had ever done that before. Nobody had ever _listened_ the way Buck did, and so Eddie was more comfortable opening up.

One day, months after the tsunami and lawsuit, he'd been standing in the station kitchen, listening to Buck and Bobby talking as they prepared dinner for everyone. He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, merely sitting at the kitchen island and watching Buck work, transfixed by his _hands_. Strong, masculine hands – hands that had saved Christopher's life; that had gripped Eddie a little too long any time they'd hugged… large hands that made video game controllers seem somehow dwarfed.

Eddie wondered what it would be like to have those same hands on his body. Would Buck's touches feel rough and coarse, or would they be surprisingly soft? Could those hands make him feel alive again, when he'd felt like he'd been in the darkness for so long? Could _Buck_ be the answer?

And then he'd looked up and met Buck's blue eyes, and thought, _Yes._

He'd simply had no idea what to do with that information, and so he kept it to himself – even after the well, when Buck sat with him in his hospital room while they waited for Carla to arrive with Christopher, and Eddie kept sneaking glances at him with concern – there was something in the way Buck was staring vacantly at the floor, like the whole world had been ripped out from under him and now he was slowly piecing it back together.

They never talked about _that_ , though Eddie found out Buck's breakdown a few weeks later when he'd overheard Hen and Chimney discussing it. He then went searching for news footage from that night and sure enough, there was Buck, screaming and clawing desperately at the dirt.

But still, he kept his mouth shut, and continued on as normal. He stayed silent when Abby reappeared, even though Buck was so completely rattled. He stayed silent when Buck put his life in danger _again_ for someone who didn't deserve it – she had never deserved one single second of Buck's love or devotion. He stayed silent when Buck came over to his house a few days later and told him that he and Abby had said their peace, and that he felt like he could finally move on.

He'd asked Buck if that meant he was going to start dating again, but Buck had simply shrugged at him and said that he was happy being single. It wasn't as if he was bored – he had his friends, and in Eddie and Christopher, he had willing participants for whatever activity Buck came up with.

With Christopher away, Eddie was child-free for the first time in years, and he genuinely had no idea what to do with himself other than turn up at Buck's apartment and make a nuisance of himself. Not that Buck seemed to mind, at all – they played video games, drank beer, watched movies and just _hung out_. Eddie had never been able to pinpoint what exactly it was about Buck that he found so goddamn charming, but even after two weeks of spending almost every day with him, he was almost disappointed to have it end.

Their trip to San Diego had been a spontaneous thing, when Buck had admitted he'd never been. Suddenly they were hopping in Buck's jeep and heading south, and Eddie was booking accommodation on his phone and looking for things to do while they were in town – and where the best Mexican food was. They listened to the radio and talked the whole way there, running through various what if scenarios:

"What if _Jurassic Park_ was real, and the dinosaurs escaped to the mainland and we suddenly had to deal with raptors?"

"What if _Independence Day_ happened – how would we get out of the city?"

"What if there was a monkey that followed you around everywhere, and every time you did something embarrassing – like picking your nose – it took a video and posted it on the internet?"

"What if you woke up in a plane heading for the other side of the world with only twenty dollars to your name, one bag of clothes and a Mickey Mouse watch - _and_ the plane ticket said you were going to Vladivostok? How would you get home?"

Buck had laughed at him after that one, and then spent a few puzzled moments trying to figure out an answer before finally settling on, "I'd just live there for a while, get a job in the Vladivostok Fire Department, learn Russian… send you postcards. You'd miss me, but I'd make it back eventually. Maybe hop on a container ship and get home that way. How would you get home?" he'd countered, as the San Diego skyline came into view.

"Oh, I'd sleep my way home," Eddie said nonchalantly. "Find a rich woman and ride her all the way back to LA."

Buck had snorted with laughter, and punched him in the shoulder.

It was as they were wandering around the San Diego waterfront that he wondered what would happen if he simply slipped his hand into Buck's. Would Buck push him away? Somehow, he didn't think so.

They ate Mexican food and drank too much, stumbling into a karaoke bar near midnight. Buck had instantly signed up and sang Aerosmith's _'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing'_ terribly, but the whole performance was directed at Eddie – probably to embarrass him, or maybe because Buck was drunk – but still, Eddie felt hot all over watching him.

And then Buck had made friends with a group of backpackers from New Zealand, and they'd lost a drinking competition with them before stumbling back to their hotel in the early hours of the morning, collapsing into the queen-sized bed together with a bag of greasy kebabs and fries. In no time Buck had spilled sauce down his shirt, his face bright red from the chilli, and Eddie had leaned over with a napkin to wipe his face tenderly.

Buck had smiled at him, and he'd thought, _I'm so gone for you._

He just couldn't tell him, that was the problem.

~

Not long after Christopher's return from camp, the pandemic kicked up a notch, and their whole world was closed down. Gone were the spontaneous trips away. Christopher's school closed, and he had to be at home, all day every day, which drove him nuts and made Eddie miserable. He hated to see his son so out of sorts.

And when the announcement came that first responders needed to separate from their families, just in case, Eddie had lost it. He'd gone home that afternoon and locked himself in his bedroom, pressed his hands to his face and cried miserably. He _did not_ want to be separated from Christopher for any length of time. Two weeks away at camp was torturous enough, but spending potentially _months_ apart? _Months?_ With no Christopher?

The thought made him feel sick.

His parents called and begged him to send Christopher to them, but there was no way he was going to do that when El Paso was suffering through the pandemic just as badly as the major centres. Carla was out – her work put her in the high risk category as well, but it was Eddie's Abuela who finally said that she would move into Eddie's house and take care of Christopher.

Everyone shuffled around – Pepa moved into Abuela's house, as her husband worked in administration at one of the hospitals and they decided it would be safer for them to quarantine separately. Abuela moved into Eddie's house, and he went to Buck's without even asking, knocking on the door with two bags of clothes and nowhere else to go.

Chimney put up a fight, but Eddie had simply stalked upstairs to the bedroom and dumped his bags. He heard Chimney say to Buck, "You're really going to share a bed?"

And Buck said, "Yeah?" like it wasn't a big deal – like they hadn't done it multiple times before, or slept bunks right beside each other, or napped on the couch together at work. They'd slept beside each other _a lot._

Eddie had been angrily shoving aside clothes in Buck's closet when he realised he wasn't alone, and turned to find Buck sitting on the end of his bed, watching him with worried blue eyes.

"I knew you'd come here," he said. "I wish I had a spare room to offer you."

Eddie lifted his shoulders. "We can share, if that's okay."

Buck nodded, and then asked with concern, "Are you okay?"

Emotions bubbled up in an instant – how he'd _promised_ himself he'd never leave Christopher again; he would be always be present and there for him. He was going to be the kind of father that he'd never had; he was never going to leave him on his own, and now… he'd been forced out of his own house by a stupid fucking virus and he was so _angry._

He met Buck's eyes, his lips trembling, and said, "No."

He would never admit that to anyone else – if anyone else asked over the course of his separation from Christopher if he was okay, his answer was always a firm yes. It had to be done; there was no way to avoid it. To keep Christopher safe and to continue his job, Eddie needed to separate himself. He could rationalise it, sure, but he wasn't happy about it. The only semblance of comfort he had was that Buck was there – the lighthouse guiding him home in a stormy sea of uncertainty.

He just had to swallow his unhappiness and accept the fact that there was a pandemic raging, and thousands of people were dying per day – and his son was not going to be a fucking statistic. As first responders, they saw firsthand how reckless and stupid people could be – he had his mask ripped off on more than one occasion; they transported sick and dying people to the hospital, people who could hardly breathe, whose loved ones couldn't accompany them.

And after every hard shift, Eddie pulled his phone out of his pocket and Facetimed his son, reminding himself of why he was doing what he was doing. No matter how hard it was; and how annoyed he was listening to Buck and Chimney argue about the same goddamn thing over and over again (the fucking bathtub – why Chimney was so appalled at the idea of Buck using the bathtub in his own house, Eddie had no idea, and out of spite he'd started taking baths as well, just to shut him up) – he was protecting his son. His most precious, important person.

There were some benefits – as much as Buck and Chimney brought out the worst in each other, he and Buck had the opposite effect, and after a couple of weeks he marvelled at how in sync they were. They were almost like a married couple, with Chim as the annoying third party in the relationship. Chimney even commented on it one night, watching as Buck and Eddie did the dishes in tandem without even really exchanging any dialogue, at which point Buck snapped at him that maybe he'd like to help out once in a while, which sent them spiralling into another argument.

They had to learn to give each other space – Buck pretended to have a girlfriend, and spent a few hours a week talking to a therapist upstairs in his bedroom. Chimney wondered out loud how he'd possibly met someone during a pandemic, and what they could be talking about for so long, and why Eddie wasn't more worried – what if Buck was being catfished? What if he was actually talking to some gross dude and not a young woman?

Eddie found the whole thing amusing. Buck seemed happier, which was what he reiterated to Chimney (and Maddie) on more than one occasion, and if Buck was happy, shouldn't they be happy as well? At that they grudgingly agreed, and Eddie left them chatting on video call, wandering inside to find Buck descending the stairs.

"They're still gossiping about you," he'd said, taking a seat at the table.

Buck glanced out to the balcony, and shrugged. "It'll just raise more questions if I tell Maddie that it's therapy. Do you want to work on the puzzle?"

He really _didn't_ want to work on the 3,000 piece solar system puzzle that was currently occupying most of Buck's dining table, but he nodded. It was boring as hell, but in a weird way, also kind of soothing?

~

At night, Eddie lay awake while Buck slept, listening to him breathe, and thinking about how he needed to work up the courage to say something to him. Surely Buck wouldn't be available forever, but it wasn't like they could do anything when Chimney was sleeping a few metres below them.

So he decided to wait the pandemic out, and made the best of it. Honestly, he credited a lot of his sanity to Buck, who was not hesitant to tell Eddie how much he enjoyed having him around, how he was such a great father, and that he'd be home with Christopher before he knew it. Time would fly, Buck reassured him, as they lay in bed beside each other, whispering so as not to wake up Chimney. " _You'll be home soon, and you'll leave me all alone with Chim."_

Eddie wanted to kiss him. There was a part of him that thought he'd maybe wanted to kiss him for years, without realising that the affection he had for this person was actually _love_. He wanted to close the gap between them and lean over, capture those pink pillowy lips in his and pour all of his heart and soul into it, so Buck could _feel it_ and finally _know._

But he didn't, and after a few weeks, he was back at home with Christopher. Happy, sure – to be back in his own house, without two bickering roommates, just his son to cuddle with on the couch and make up for lost time, but… a familiar feeling of loneliness settled over him at night, lying in his empty bed, with no Buck beside him for warmth.

He was the one who suggested the sleepovers and Buck leapt at the chance – he'd missed Christopher as well, of course. It was a way to keep Buck close while playing his cards close to his chest, and thankfully Buck agreed readily. It gave everyone a chance to breathe – Chimney could have the loft to himself for a night, and Buck could come and stay at Eddie's house, where he belonged.

More and more, he thought about telling him. The idea would pop into his head unexpectedly – like the night that Buck and Christopher were eating spaghetti Bolognese, with pasta sauce all around their mouths, and Eddie gazed at Buck dreamily and thought about kissing the sauce right off his lips. Or there was the day at work when Buck stole Chimney's phone, and inspired by an episode of _The Office_ , hid it in a ceiling tile and began to call it incessantly, until Chimney was tearing the place apart while everyone laughed at him. The look of pure glee on Buck's face made Eddie's heart skip a beat.

And then there was the day that Buck spoke to Maddie for half an hour while he was at Eddie's, and then excused himself, heading out to the backyard for some air. That was where Eddie had found him, taking a seat on the back stoop and putting an arm around his shoulders as silent tears rolled down Buck's cheeks at the thought of being apart from his sister during the most exciting time of her life.

"It's just that she always wanted kids," he said to Eddie, his voice hoarse. "And I know she's struggling so much, going through all these new things without Chim there with her. She's putting on a brave face and she keeps saying she's okay, but I know she's not. I recognise it… you know? From… from when she used to lie to me before."

"It just can't be helped," Eddie said gently. "She's a high risk pregnancy."

"I know; I know. I just hate it when she's upset and I can't _do anything to help._ "

"You are helping; you called her, you're talking to her almost every day," he pointed out, his voice low. "It's the whole world, Buck – it's not just our little bubble. Maddie needs to stay as safe as she can."

"I know."

"And so do we."

"I know; I know." Buck wiped his face, glancing at him. "I don't think Chim realises how much she's struggling. He doesn't know her the way I do."

"You should say something to him."

"I can't do that; I can't meddle. It's their relationship. She needs to tell him; not me." Buck suddenly leaned in and rested his head on Eddie's shoulder, letting out a sigh.

Eddie had closed his eyes and thought again, _I love you so much._

But fear kept him silent. Fear of what his parents would say, more than anything… that was not a conversation he wanted to have with them. He hadn't expected to fall in love with his blue-eyed, male best friend, but… life was funny that way.

And then one Friday, work was a nightmare in the way that it hadn't been for a long time. There was a particularly gruesome pile-up on a freeway in the morning, and even the most seasoned firefighters on the team were blinking back tears as they tried to extract victims from their mangled cars.

Eddie couldn't bring himself to have lunch that day, and apparently, Buck had lost his appetite as well, and was simply staring numbly at the television while old episodes of _Friends_ played. A storm raged outside, the thunder so close overhead it felt like the walls of the building were shaking, and then the alarms began to ring. There were downed trees and powerlines all across the city, and they were out again, assisting with the clean-up in searing heat – it was as if the storm passing through made the sun shine even brighter than it had before, and Eddie was mopping sweat from his face as he worked.

It was as he was at his lowest, exhausted and desperate to head home, that he happened to look over at Buck. Buck met his eyes, smiled at him (even when he was wearing a mask, Eddie could always tell when he was smiling), and pointed to something over his head. Eddie turned to look – there, stretching across the sky, was the most spectacular rainbow he'd seen in a long, long time. He just didn't see a lot of rainbows in Los Angeles, but this one was special – colours brightly illuminated by the sun, standing out in stark contrast to the dark storm clouds behind it.

He'd been waiting for a sign, and that was quite simply the greatest sign he'd ever seen in his life. He'd texted his Abuela and asked if she would take Christopher for the night, coerced Buck into coming home with him, and once they were alone, with the door closed, he'd pushed him up against it and kissed him with everything that he had.

Buck had practically melted into his arms, and Eddie had internally berated himself for not doing something about it sooner.

_~~**~~**~~**~~_

"Has anyone seen TK?" Judd asked the group, searching the command centre with a concerned look on his face. "He better not have run off half-cocked on some kind of suicidal rescue mission."

Eddie closed his eyes briefly. "Can anyone see Buck?"

They all turned to look, and Eddie knew without a single doubt that Buck and TK had indeed run off together on some kind of half-cocked suicidal rescue mission.

"The trucks," he said to Judd. "Buck's stolen a truck."

"How do you know that?" Marjan asked him, as they grabbed their gear and began to hurry for the motor pool.

He shrugged at her. "He's done it before."

"Is that an interesting story?"

"It was before my time, but if I know Buck – and I know him pretty well – he's definitely capable of doing it again."

Sure enough, there they were – Eddie eyed TK, feeling jealous and possessive that this random person had seemingly had such an impact on Buck that he was prepared to throw away his career and potentially _his life_ in order to stage a rescue mission. And sure, it was _Hen_ , but that didn't excuse the fact that Buck was willing to throw in with someone he'd only just met and drive right into the flames with him.

Eddie was _pissed._

* * *

**Buck**

"I told you not to do anything crazy without me," Eddie said as they headed up the hill to try to find the downed chopper. They were sitting side-by-side in the back of the truck, shoulders pressed together.

Buck noticed TK throw him a confused look, but ignored it. "You just would've stopped me," he replied, shaking his head.

"You could've gotten yourself killed." Eddie looked monumentally pissed off.

"I wouldn't," he replied, but Eddie just shook his head, his lips set in a grim line. " _Eddie._ I'd do the same if it was you up there."

That wasn't a lie. He wouldn't have thought twice about stealing a truck or a car or an ATV and heading up to rescue Eddie himself, if that was what it took.

Eddie's shoulders dropped, and he relented a little. "You should've told me. I would've backed you up."

"I knew you'd read my mind." Buck wanted to reach out and touch him, but they weren't alone. He glanced out the window - they were close to the front, and emerging from the smoke, he could see the downed helicopter. "She's going to be okay, right?"

Eddie peered out the window as well. "Yeah, I'm sure she will," he replied – and he was the one who reached out and squeezed Buck's knee briefly, reassuringly.

Buck leaned against him comfortably, noticing the look that passed between TK and the woman he knew only as Firefox. He decided to ignore it, and when the engine came to a stop, he threw the door open and leapt out.

~

They brought Hen, Captain Strand and the pilot back to central command, and all three went into the medical tents. Exhausted, Buck managed to down a bottle of water and a banana, listening tiredly as the team from the 126 exclaimed with excitement about their rescue.

There was a tug at his jacket, and he looked up – Eddie was standing behind him. "Let's get some rest," he said, nodding at the others, before leading Buck out of the tent and over to the sleeping quarters. It was primitive – cots with thin blankets and pillows – but after a long day of hard work, it looked as inviting as his own bed back home

Eddie had picked out a semi-secluded corner, away from prying eyes, and he pushed two of the coats closer together. Buck sat down wearily, rubbing his eyes, and leaned over to untie his boots.

"How's your leg?" Eddie asked quietly, as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"Sore," he admitted without thinking.

"I could massage it."

"No, it's okay."

"Did you bring painkillers?"

Buck shook his head. "I forgot, but it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"But I do worry about it," Eddie murmured, taking off his shoes. "I worry about it, because I can see that you're limping. You need to take care of yourself."

"Okay, Dad," Buck teased, lying back on the cot, relieved to be off his feet. He stretched out his weary limbs, letting out a long sigh, sleep already beginning to wash over him.

Eddie looked around, as if checking to make sure they were alone, and then kicked his cot even closer before settling down on his side, facing Buck. "Buck," he whispered.

He was tired, but he opened his eyes. "What?"

"That guy. TK. What's his deal?"

"I don't know."

"You were talking to him; you seemed… chummy."

Buck rolled onto his side as well, facing him. "Jealous?" he asked knowingly, and Eddie rolled his eyes. "You're one to talk. You make good friends with Firefox?"

"Marjan Marwani," Eddie corrected. "And yeah. She's following me on Insta."

Suddenly Buck was so inexplicably jealous that he couldn't speak. Eddie _liked her_. They'd never defined anything or discussed what it meant that they were now sleeping together, so did this mean the romantic part of their relationship was suddenly over? How could they ever go back to being just friends?

Would Buck ever love someone the way he loved Eddie Diaz? No.

He'd been quiet too long, and Eddie was gazing at him worriedly. Buck could only manage a bitter, "Okay. Cool. Have fun with that."

"What?" Eddie whispered, leaning in close. "What do you mean?"

"I saw how she looked at you; I get it. You like her."

"No?" Eddie looked thoroughly confused. "I like _you._ "

"Okay."

" _I do_ ," Eddie stressed, leaning in close. "But I don't like the way that guy is looking at you."

"He's not looking at me like anything?"

"He _is._ "

Buck just made a face, rolling his eyes. "Okay."

"Buck."

"What?"

Eddie hesitated, and then whispered, "You're _my_ boyfriend."

He looked over at Eddie sharply, totally stunned. "I am?"

"Aren't you?" Eddie's voice had an edge of fear to it. "I know I'm not the most vocal, but… I'm pretty serious about you."

"You are?"

"Yes," Eddie said insistently, leaning across the small gap between the two cots. "I'm just… scared."

Buck propped himself up on his elbow, gazing at him with concern. "About?"

"Coming out… I guess," he admitted, swallowing hard. "And about how… strong my feelings are. It's terrifying. I haven't felt like this about anyone since… Shannon. You're in my whole life, you know? And Christopher _loves you_ … if we fuck this up? It's not just going to be a break-up between you and me; it's going to affect him. And I want him to have the happiest life… and I want you to be in his life, forever." Eddie gave him an uncertain look. "If that's what you want as well."

"You want me," he whispered, overwhelmed. "Me?"

Eddie nodded, reaching out to cup the back of his head. "You," he confirmed, and closed the gap to kiss him firmly.

He suddenly forgot that they were not alone – secluded, sure, but definitely not alone. Eddie abandoned his cot and slid into Buck's, lying side-by-side, kissing in the darkness. Eddie pulled away long enough to press soft kisses all over his face, chuckling when Buck's hand slid down and over his butt, pulling his leg up and over him.

" _Eddie_ ," he whispered, closing his eyes so Eddie could bestow kisses to his eyelids. "I love you."

And for a split second, he waited for Eddie to freeze, to pull away – but he didn't. Their lips met in an open, wet kiss, and then Eddie murmured, "I love you too."

"You do?"

Eddie nodded vigorously, smiling at him, their foreheads pressed together. "Yeah."

"But what about… your parents?"

"They'll just have to understand." Eddie kissed him again, and then whispered, "Because you're the only person for me."

Buck was thrilled, but exhausted – exhilarated, but _exhausted_. He kissed Eddie back, his arms around him, wanting sleep but not wanting Eddie to leave him alone. "Stay."

"I'm staying." Eddie's lips brushed against his nose. "I'm not going anywhere."

~

Sure enough, when Buck awoke a few hours later, Eddie was still tucked in beside him. They were still alone in their area, but the sun was up, and he could smell food wafting from a nearby tent.

"Eds," he whispered, nudging him awake. "It's morning."

"Mmm." Eddie let out a sigh, his face buried against Buck's shoulder.

Buck smiled at him, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. "Come on. We need to check on Hen."

"Mmm."

"People could see."

At that Eddie heaved a sigh, and lifted his head, looking around. Nobody was in the vicinity, so he greeted Buck with a good morning kiss before sitting up and rubbing his face with both hands. "Okay. Let's go."

~

Hen was fine – she'd had a decent night's rest and some oxygen, and she was doing a lot better. They had a group hug, and Buck was preparing to head up to the front lines again when the call came over that the wildfire was under control, and they could stand down.

Eddie whooped – he'd been expecting a week away from Christopher, or even longer, and he flashed Buck an excited smile before hurrying off to bid farewell to his new friends. Buck parted ways with TK and Mateo near their truck – he'd liked TK, had thought he was a decent guy until he dropped a bomb on him.

"Oh hey, if you ever find yourself in LA, we should get together."

TK grinned knowingly and said, "Sure… I gotta mention, I already have a boyfriend and it's pretty serious, so…"

Dumbfounded, Buck could only stare at him.

"But it was really nice meeting you, man," TK said, patting his chest before walking away.

Stunned, Buck turned around to protest – had the guy actually thought he'd been _flirting_ with him? – when Eddie rounded the back of their truck, passing by TK on his way to Buck.

Eddie stopped in his tracks. "What'd I miss?"

Buck blinked. "Ah… TK thought I was hitting on him."

Eddie's eyebrows lifted. Amused, he said, "Were you?"

"I was just being friendly! If I was hitting on him, he would know," he said emphatically.

"I mean, I never knew," Eddie said, opening one of the compartments to the truck. "And you were hitting on me."

"No, I wasn't." Buck leaned against the truck, looking up at the sky. "I never hit on you."

"Why not?"

"Because… I liked you too much." He gave him a lingering look, and Eddie grinned. "Still do."

Eddie retrieved a box of painkillers from the medical kit, and slammed the compartment door shut. "Yeah, I know," he said in a low voice, handing the box to Buck. "Now take something for your leg."

Buck heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes. "It's fine."

"It's not, and you're driving the second leg. I can see you limping." Eddie gave him a stern look. "You can rest in the front with me. There's more space for you to stretch your leg out."

Buck tapped the box in his hands and said, "Okay."

"Okay." Eddie smiled at him, and glanced around. "Be right back."

* * *

**Eddie**

"Hey, TK!" he called, jogging up to the group from the 126.

"Oh hey, Eddie," TK replied, turning to him with surprise. "What's up?"

In full view of the others – and because he was likely not to see any of them again, anytime soon – Eddie put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Buck's too nice to say something to you, but he wasn't flirting, and he's not interested."

TK's eyebrows flew up. "O…kay?"

"He's got a boyfriend," he added meaningfully, and gave him a light shake. "Okay?"

A look of recognition crossed TK's face. "Hey man, I didn't know. Sorry."

Eddie released him, and took a step back, holding his hands out. "Just letting you know."

Marjan let out a laugh. "Wow, go Eddie. I knew there was a reason he was all over your Insta."

Eddie winked at her. "See you guys around," he said, flashing a cocky grin, and jogged back to the waiting fire truck.

"I told you he wasn't hitting on you!" he heard Mateo admonish TK.

Eddie was still chuckling as he arrived at the 118's truck, where Hen was ordering everyone inside.

"You've been to the bathroom?" she asked him, arching her eyebrows. "Because we are not stopping."

"Yes ma'am," he teased. "I've got first shift."

"I'll be sleeping until we get to El Paso," she said, climbing into the back. "I'm looking forward to some barbeque."

"My parents are well aware, and they're ready for us," he replied. "Buck's in the front?"

"Yes, already asleep." Hen paused, leaning out through the doors again. "Are you going to tell Bobby about the truck stealing?"

They locked eyes. Eddie said carefully, "I won't if you won't."

Hen held her fist out, and he bumped it. "Deal."

~

Buck had his leg stretched out in front of him, head tilted back – not asleep, merely listening to the radio silently as they drove along. Eddie was holding his hand loosely, breaking contact only when he had to change gears.

They weren't wearing their headsets – everyone else was asleep in the back, wiped out after a hard few days.

"So you're on a deserted island," Buck said suddenly, "and your only means of escape is by a rickety old wooden boat, and in order to escape the island you have to talk your way through a group of mermaids who want to devour you—"

"Why do they want to devour me?" he asked, because he couldn't help but be a shit and question all of Buck's 'what if's'.

"Because you're a red-blooded American male in your prime," Buck said dryly. "Their whole schtick is that they want to eat you."

Eddie shook his head. "The Disney documentary movie _The Little Mermaid_ says otherwise."

Buck laughed, squeezing his hand. "And how long has it been since you watched that?"

"Only last year. Christopher loves the animated Disney movies, especially the ones from the early nineties." Eddie glanced over at him. "Mermaids don't want to eat people."

"Not eat, _devour_."

"It is the same thing."

"It's not. Devour as in… they want to drain your life-force," Buck explained. "And then eat you."

"Sounds like bullshit."

"Well, in my hypothetical scenario, it's your reality."

Eddie sighed. "Why can't I just leave from the other side of the island where there are no mermaids?"

Buck gave him an incredulous look. "Eddie, they're aquatic. They're in the water. You can't just leave from one side of the island and expect them not to see you."

"This scenario is stupid and I'll tell you why. First of all – if these mermaids are really giving me trouble, and I'm so desperate to leave, I'll just kill them."

"You're going to kill off a bunch of _endangered magical creatures_ to secure your escape," Buck said disbelievingly. "Wow."

Eddie barked out a laugh. "You didn't tell me they were endangered!"

"Of course they're endangered. Do you see many mermaids getting around these days?" Buck teased. "Come on, Eddie, think with your brain for once."

Eddie slapped at him with one hand, playfully, shaking his head. "Okay, well – whatever. They're going to eat me, so I'm just gonna kill them. Besides, I've got to get back to you and Christopher, right?"

"Yeah, we're stuck on another island waiting for you."

"Murdering is my only option."

Buck was silent for a moment, and then said, "I'm going to tell your son that you're willing to slaughter innocent mermaids for him."

"Are these mermaids attractive? Are we talking Disney mermaids or horror mermaids?" Eddie asked curiously.

"I just told you they're going to devour you," Buck replied.

"Yeah, but… is it going to be a good experience for me or a really bad one?"

He laughed. "So your son and I are standing on a neighbouring island, listening to you have the time of your life before the screaming starts?"

"The screaming being me murdering a bunch of mermaids, right?"

"No." Buck grinned at him. "I don't think you could beat the mermaids."

"That's where you're wrong, Buck. I'm an excellent swimmer." Eddie reached out to take his hand again, and said, "And I'd stop at nothing to get to you and Christopher."

"I should hope so. We're running out of food," Buck replied matter-of-factly, and Eddie shoved him playfully again, shaking his head.

"No more hypotheticals; they're getting too ridiculous."

"That's the whole point, Eddie."

~

Their arrival at his parents' house in the late afternoon was a strange affair. Knowing they were catering for a group of hungry firefighters, they'd set up tables in the backyard, and Eddie's father was manning the grill. His mother hovered around him, clearly wanting to hug him, but unable to. Everyone was wearing their masks, and Eddie had to specifically reintroduce his parents to Buck and Hen – they'd met each other before, briefly, at his graduation ceremony.

"You're the Buck that Christopher is always talking about," Helena said. "I remember you. I see your leg is all healed up?"

"Better than ever," Buck replied, patting it firmly.

That was a lie, but Eddie didn't call him on it.

Hen wasted no time in charming Helena, and they wandered out to the backyard together, chatting animatedly. Buck gazed up at the house, and then looked over at him. "Which bedroom was yours?"

Eddie pointed to the top left window. "There."

He nodded thoughtfully. "I might just… duck inside to use the bathroom," he said, taking a step towards the house with mischievous eyes. "If that's okay."

Eddie shook his head, trailing after him. "If you're going in there to look at old photos of me—"

"Eddie, I would never," Buck protested, climbing the porch stairs. "I'll be right back."

With some trepidation Eddie let him go, but soon thought the better of it, and hurried inside the house. He found Buck in the hallway near the stairs, gazing up at the photos mounted on the wall, his mask around his neck.

"Football," he said, pointing to a picture. "Quarterback?"

Eddie nodded, leaning against the doorframe. "Yep."

"Mr Popular," he guessed. "Cheerleader girlfriend?"

He shook his head. "A couple of girlfriends, no cheerleaders."

"Ah." Buck continued along the wall. "Boyfriends?" he asked curiously.

"Not in Texas in the early 2000s; not even if I wanted to."

"Did you want to?"

Eddie shook his head again. "Not until I met you."

Buck smiled at him, tilting his head to the stairs. "Is your room still a shrine?"

"No; I think it's just a guest room now, but you can go look."

Buck held his hand out. "Will you come with me?"

Eddie hesitated, leaning out to check the backyard – his parents were in full entertainer mode, totally distracted. "Okay," he agreed, "but my Mom will kill me if she finds out I have a boy in my room."

"It'll be our little secret."

* * *

**Buck**

To his disappointment, Eddie's room was now a regular, run-of-the-mill guest bedroom. He wandered around the four walls that Eddie had spent his childhood and adolescence in, and shrugged at him. "I guess I hoped it was still a shrine."

"No, they changed it pretty much as soon as I moved out. I took everything with me."

"Trophies," Buck said hopefully.

Eddie shook his head. "Threw them out."

"Really? I would've kept them."

"They're just shitty pieces of gold plastic that don't mean anything." Eddie was lounging against the doorframe, watching him with dark eyes. "Hey… I wasn't joking, you know. About the love thing."

Buck flashed him a smile, perching on the edge of the bed. "I know."

"I just need to go… pretty slow."

"Snails are faster, but that's okay. Can I tell you what I want?"

Eddie nodded eagerly, stepping into the room. "Sure."

"I want to have sex with you, properly," he said bluntly, and Eddie's eyebrows flew up. "You're in charge, obviously, and we can do this whenever you're ready, but… I want it. I really want the connection."

Colour flooded Eddie's cheeks. "Okay," he said nervously. "I'm just scared of hurting you, because… I don't know what I'm doing."

"I'll talk you through it. I'm not worried, at all."

"You say that."

"Eddie, it's you," he said simply, and Eddie smiled hopefully at him. "I trust you."

He nodded, reaching out to close the door, before swiftly leaning in and kissing him hungrily. Buck grabbed his hips and pulled him in until Eddie was straddling his legs, with Buck's hands cupping his ass, returning his fiery kisses desperately.

"Wow, wow," Eddie murmured, pulling away, gazing down at him, eyes blazing with intensity. "Wow. You free on Friday?"

Buck laughed, patting his butt. "Fuck yeah."

"Fuck _yes._ "

~

"Hey, they made it, they didn't die," Chimney cheered from the balcony, as they leapt out of the fire truck. It was good to be back in LA, though Buck's body was stiff and sore from the twenty hours spent crammed in a truck.

Bobby emerged from his office, greeting everyone eagerly, before coming to a stop to where Hen, Eddie and Buck were grabbing their bags out of the truck. Chimney joined their little huddle, patting Hen on the shoulder.

"So I heard there was a slight helicopter crash," Bobby said, folding his arms across his chest. "Hen?"

"Hen!" Chimney exclaimed. "Hen?"

She grinned, glancing at Buck and Eddie. "Yeah, but the boys came and rescued me, and I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, you were in that helicopter we saw crashing on live TV?" Chimney clarified. "Why? How?"

"Well, there was a boy lost in the woods," Hen began to explain, but Chimney cut her off.

"And you didn't tell me that Hen was in the helicopter that crashed?" he asked Bobby accusingly, who held up his hands.

"Hey, I didn't know until this morning," he replied. "Don't take it out on me."

Chimney turned to Buck and Eddie accusingly. "Nobody texted me?"

"We were a little busy, Chim," Eddie said dryly. "You know. Saving Hen's life and all that?"

"Yeah, about that…" Bobby said, eyeing Buck suspiciously. "Captain Strand mentioned that a group of firefighters stole a fire truck from the motor pool and staged an unsanctioned rescue mission."

Hen, Buck and Eddie exchanged a look, shrugging at each other.

"Unsanctioned," Buck repeated. "Weird. I'm pretty sure we had permission."

"We definitely had permission," Eddie agreed, slipping into his jacket. "You can check with Captain Strand on that."

"Right." Bobby shook his head good-naturedly. "He also said that he was very impressed with all three of you, and if any of you are contemplating a move to Austin, he would be happy to have you on his team."

"Oh, god no," Hen said, rolling her eyes. "Listen – he was a nice guy, but it'd never work. He wouldn't be able to share the spotlight with Eddie."

"Hey," Eddie complained. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know what it means. You strolled in there and flashed that cocky little smile of yours and won everyone over," she teased. "You know what you did."

"He also saved someone's life," Buck pointed out, and Eddie nodded in agreement. "So there's that. I nearly got killed by a dog driving a burning car, Cap."

"You would," Chimney said sarcastically.

"Shut up, rebar-head."

"How the hell was the dog driving the burning car anyway, Buck?" Chimney demanded. "This sounds made up."

Aghast, he snapped, "It's true!"

"Liar."

"Okay, okay," Bobby cut in tiredly. "You three, go home. Chimney, leave them alone."

"Whatever," Chimney said, backing away, holding his hands up. "But I want photographic proof of the dog in the car."

"There is none," Buck hissed at Eddie, who laughed. "It did happen."

"Yeah, sure," Eddie replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "Come on. You want to spend the night? Catch up with Christopher?"

"Nah, I'm not gonna crowd you. I'm going to go home and sleep for the next twelve hours," Buck said, consulting his watch, "and I'll see you in the morning."

"Bye guys," Hen said, patting Buck on the shoulder as she headed out. "See you tomorrow."

"See ya," Buck called, and then turned to Eddie again. "I'll see you tomorrow too."

Eddie nodded thoughtfully. "Okay," he said, and then waved to Bobby. "See you, Cap."

"Night, Eddie. Buck, you want to catch up before you head home?" Bobby asked, tilting his head towards his office.

He groaned. "Am I seriously in trouble—"

"No," Bobby chuckled. "I just wanted to find out how it was; that's all."

"Oh. Okay, sure."

They caught up for half an hour – Buck told him all about their trip, leaving out the slight detail that it was his idea to steal the fire truck (though he was pretty sure Bobby had figured him out), and ending with, "And then I thought I'd made a new friend in TK until he thought I was hitting on him."

Bobby laughed. "Were you?"

"No! I was just being nice."

"Ah. And what did Eddie think about that?"

Buck eyed him, puzzling over the question. "He was pretty pissed off," he admitted.

"I bet. Listen – I know you think that you're doing the right thing by staying away, and letting Eddie and Christopher have a night alone, but he did ask you to go with him," Bobby said delicately. "And I think you should."

Buck blinked at him. Did Bobby _know?_ "Um… I don't want to be in his way."

"I don't think you would be. I think that you should be with your family. Don't you?"

He hesitated, and then nodded. "Okay."

"So get going," Bobby said, gesturing to the door. "And I'll see you in the morning."

~

He didn't pre-warn Eddie; he just drove to his house and parked in his usual spot out the front, lingering in his car for a few minutes. Lights were on inside, and every so often a shadow passed in front of the curtains – Eddie, no doubt, probably organising dinner.

Eddie had invited him, he reminded himself, and so with that thought in mind, he grabbed his bag from the backseat and hopped out of the car, striding purposefully to the front door. Usually he wouldn't knock; he'd just let himself in, but… he stopped, and knocked, a little nervously.

Eddie pulled open the door, and when he realised Buck was standing in the entryway, his whole face lit up. "You came," he said happily. "I really thought you were gonna wimp out on me."

Buck shook his head, stepping over the threshold. "No, I just… had a moment of doubt."

Eddie grasped his shoulder, smiling at him. "You never have to doubt yourself with me," he said, and tilted his head to the living room. "Or him. Chris! I told you he'd turn up."

"Buck!" came Christopher's excited shout. "You're here!"

"I sure am!" he replied. "Just gotta clean up first, kiddo."

Eddie nodded at him, his eyes sparkling. "I'll order dinner while you have a shower," he said. "You want anything special?"

"Just you," he said quietly, running his hand along Eddie's forearm. "And Chris."

Eddie lifted his shoulders and said, "Well, you have us," he replied. "I meant food."

"Oh. Then whatever you want."

"Mexican."

"Done." Buck left his shoes at the door, paused long enough to wave to Christopher, before heading down the hall to the bathroom.

When he emerged, Eddie and Christopher were curled on the couch together, watching TV. "We waited for you," Eddie said, patting the couch beside him. "We're going to watch the latest _Spider-Man_ movie."

"Great, I haven't seen it." Buck settled onto the couch beside him, and Eddie leaned against him, taking his hand. Buck glanced at him with surprise – they hadn't shown any kind of affection in front of Christopher at all.

"He knows," Eddie explained, and Christopher looked up at Buck with a smile. "I tell him… almost everything."

"You're Dad's _boyfriend_ ," Christopher whispered. "That's so cool."

Buck was gobsmacked. "You… just… when did you tell him?"

"Before you got here. We were going to come to your house, but then you turned up," Eddie replied, squeezing his hand tightly. "Ready to watch the movie?"

Buck nodded, still amazed, and when Eddie looked up at him with high eyebrows, he couldn't help but lean in and kiss him.

Christopher let out a giggle, which broke them apart, and Eddie admonished his son with a look. "Get used to it," he teased, and Christopher laughed again.

~

Buck settled into bed beside Eddie, turning on his side to face him. "What did you say to TK?" he asked curiously, and Eddie let out a chuckle.

"How'd you find out?"

"Got a text from Mateo congratulating me on my boyfriend, and a message from Firefox on Instagram – who is now following me, by the way – telling me that I'm a lucky, lucky man," he said, passing his phone over to Eddie, who scrolled through the messages with a grin. "What'd you do? Did you go mark your territory?"

"Yeah, of course I did. I don't want him to get the wrong idea about you," Eddie said, and passed the phone back. "I just… gave him the correct information. Made him understand that there's no way you'd be flirting with _him_ when you have _me_."

"You know, the arrogance is really off-putting," Buck said loftily, snickering when Eddie smothered him in a kiss. "I mean, the mere fact that you're so territorial—"

"Shut up and kiss me."

So he did.

~the end~

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to Kat ([cinematicnomad](https://cinematicnomad.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr) for encouraging me to write this and for all of her help! ❤
> 
> The title is from an Elton John song, but the song itself is not super relevant to the story.
> 
> Talk to me @ Tumblr: [woodchoc-magnum](https://woodchoc-magnum.tumblr.com/) \- my inbox is open!


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